I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
