i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
