I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
