We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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