Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
