Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize