Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
