That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
