so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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