Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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