I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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