I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize