The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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