What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
