Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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