I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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