dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
