This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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