Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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