Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
