I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
