I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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