Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
