Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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