that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
