Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
