Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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