i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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