exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
