Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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