Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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