ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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