he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize