Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
