I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
