Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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