Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
