haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
