she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
