He passed out mid-signature
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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