Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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