I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I look better un-naked...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
