Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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