so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
