Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Operation Purity has been aborted
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
