My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
