My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
