She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
