we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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