At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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