I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
