wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i believe in u and ur pee
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
