Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
