i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i dont even know how to be here
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
