walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
