A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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