and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We just shotgunned beers for America
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He did a backflip because drugs
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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