Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
