If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
