A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
