I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
