Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
