You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
